Thoughts for the Day

If you have a lot of tension headaches, do
what it says on the aspirin bottle: take two and
keep away from children.

It's a very strange name they picked for "Social
Security." For what they actually send, you can't
afford to be "social" nor can you really feel
"secure."

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its
burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance
of getting something right, there's a 90%
probability you'll get it wrong.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait may be the
things left over by those who got there first.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine
for doing well.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody
listens.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into
the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to
get out of jury duty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Young Sally was having trouble with her computer. So she called Tony, the
computer guy, over to her desk. Tony clicked a couple buttons and
solved the problem.

As he was walking away, Sally called after him,
"So, what was wrong?"

And he replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error,"

A puzzled expression ran riot over Sally's face.
"An ID Ten T Error? What''s that ... in case I need to fix it again??"

He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error
before?"

"No," replied Sally.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out,"

(She wrote...) I D 1 0 T